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April 12th, 2005
07:09 pm - I´m new at this
It had never crossed my mind to start a journal until this morning, when I had a chat with the school counselor and suggested I should give it a chance. She said it could help to vent my feelings and decrease my stress level. Yup, according to my teachers, the counselor, and my friends, I stress out too much.
Sooo, here I am ... I admit it, yes, I like being the best at school, and I obsess over tests and grades, but I can´t help it. It´s not like I only study and spend my time in the library. I also have some fun, I suppose.
I am the youngest in my class, and for some strange reason, that makes me want to be better, that causes more stress, because teachers and even classmates think I am still too young to be a good doctor. Even my dad! When I started med school, he said that it was a waste of money and time, that I would never make it. I need to prove them wrong.
This is what I really want. Being a doctor has always been my dream, and I am willing to fight very hard to achieve this dream.
And I think I have changed from last year to this year, I am more relaxed ... Yeah, yeah, people who know me now are saying "More relaxed? What were you like before?" But I do feel I am less stressed. I am able to spend an hour online without glancing at my notes or feeling guilty because I´m not studying. After that hour I start getting pretty anxious, but still ...
When I came back from the chat with the counselor, I wasn´t too sure about this idea. But now I am glad I did create the journal and I did start to write.
Thank you, Mrs. Young, for encouraging me to express what I feel, for caring about my health and my wellbeing.
And thank you, Ali, for being there for me, and for always knowing what to say! I really appreciate your words of wisdom.
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